Does anyone remember Dave Allen? He was a marvellous Irish comedian whose Friday night show was staple viewing in our house when I was growing up. He loved to poke fun at religious rituals and many of his skits and routines have passed into family lore.
A favourite was the one where the bishop took off his tall, pointy hat – to reveal a tall, pointy head underneath.
Dave Allen has been dead since 2005, but his memory well and truly lives on.
Today I was sitting next to my sister in church. My sister who is a grandmother. Supposedly mature. Dave Allen was the furthest thing from my mind as I watched a sweet crowd of little children receiving the bishop’s blessing. And then …
The bishop took off his tall, pointy hat. Dear Reader, it pains me to tell you, but my sister, who is a good Catholic and absolutely old enough to know better – my sister sniggered.
I didn’t even have to look at her. I knew at once the picture in her head, and I was undone. My shoulders shook so hard from holding it in that Drama Duck demanded to know what I was laughing at.
So much for setting a good example. At least Dave Allen would be proud.
Ah, yes, Dave Allen, sitting on a stool, sipping from a glass of whiskey with cigarette in hand as he told a joke.
A staple in our household, too, and we still repeat the lines.
The genuflecting priest: “You, you’re mate and your esky, get out.”
And my personal favourite:
Paddy sneaks home from a night of drinking. He’s quiet and careful because his wife would pitch a fit. Staggering, he trips over the cat, falls over and breaks the bottle of whiskey in his back pocket. Cut his bum to pieces. He hurried to the bathroom to examine the damage and once he’d fixed himself up, stumbled off to bed.
Next morning, his wife gives him a gimlet eye. “You went out and got drunk again, didn’t you.”
Paddy gaped at her. “And how would you be knowing that?”
“Because there are band-aids all over the mirror!”
Sadly, they don’t make comedians like him any more; nowadays jokes are filled with expletives.
I loved his accents too. He did a particularly good “drunken Irishman”.